THE BENEFITS OF BROKENNESS
  • Home
  • Hologram Heroes
  • Art of War and Baseball
  • Klobberland
  • WAR & BASEBALL: A BLOG

WAR & BASEBALL: A BLOG

UNDERDOG

11/8/2025

0 Comments

 

Ross Perot: "Life is never more fun than when you're the underdog competing against the giants."

I would be remiss if I didn’t write about the Dodgers second World Series win in as many years. With the highest payroll in baseball ($95M/year more than the Blue Jays) much of the buzz leading up to the World Series was on the topic of the underdog, and so in this blog post I wanted to take the opportunity to explore this concept in greater detail. The idea of the underdog is complex. When we think about famous underdog stories like David and Goliath, it’s natural for most of us—aside from those with a personal stake in the outcome, like Goliath’s friends or family—to sympathize with the one who’s clearly outmatched. Especially if, in a match of intended fair play, one side appears to be equipped to a greater degree than another. Why is this?

​Well, my take is that it comes down to the idea of justice. Justice is what is called a “master signifier.” This means that although you can look up the word in the dictionary, it has no definite meaning. It is a purely visionary concept which one always strives to achieve but can never grasp. You can think of it as something that brings meaning to the world rather than has its own definite meaning. Other examples of master signifiers are truth and love. Poets will forever seek to describe their elusive nature, but luckily, never will. The law is the current distillation of the rules of justice, but this is exactly why the law changes, because, over time, we come to realize where the law, although seeming just, was not just. And so, we arrive at the underdog. The underdog appears when the Libra scale of justice has clearly become unbalanced
 - when one side has the upper hand in some way. Using this image, justice always appears on the lower side of the scale - the side of the oppressed. And the oppressor can never be just unless the scales swing and they become the oppressed. This is why Simone Weil claimed that “justice flees from the camp of conquerors,” because if the oppressed happened to overtake the oppressor, they would become the oppressor, and the scale would shift the other way. This is precisely why everyone prefers to think of themselves as the underdog (I mean, I watched the Patriots claim to be the underdog for 20 years while they won 6 super bowls) because, as Camus said, “the king is always evil.” The king lacks a just purpose. The underdog is the only one with the valiant task of removing the boot from their neck, but the master only seeks to hold it there. This gives the underdog a strong purpose, and why the master, although appearing to be happy, or releasing an ecstatic burst upon winning, is typically, in their moment of triumph, more lost of purpose than the underdog. 

We see this in action during Freddy Freeman's interview after winning the greatest prize in baseball. He was asked how it felt to win back-to-back championships. He immediately reframed the answer in the guise of the underdog and referenced the Yankees as three-peat champions, maintaining his status as lower than the Evil Empire.

So, what does the Blue Jays manager, John Schneider, still have on his side after the World Series loss? My claim. Justice. And that's not a bad side to be on. For as MLK said, the universe "bends towards justice."

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love THE ART OF WAR AND BASEBALL!! Check it out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments

THE BOTTOM

10/8/2025

0 Comments

 

Joe Castiglione: "Machado pinwheels the bat, nobody on base, two men out, bottom of the ninth, 5-1 Red Sox ... "


In baseball, each inning is a downward traverse, from the top of the inning to the bottom. This parallels the direction of enlightenment. Our prevailing myths talk about ascension as the direction of success. But when we give something our all, we commonly refer to it as “emptying the tank.” What remains, down there, once everything is given? What’s left when there’s nothing left to give? Meditation and mindfulness practices tell us that it is precisely
you that is found there in that emptiness, freed from control, awakened to the universe. This descent can be scary but is life-giving. My new book, KLOBBERLAND, now out for sale on Amazon, explores the terrain of this emptiness through a reimagined decreation story. A story which provides a mythology for the structures upon which mindfulness practices sit. This structure is hidden, but once you find it, it cannot be unseen. You see it everywhere. 


Walking through the city streets I snapped a picture of the following image and, upon reflection, this poem emerged from the Bottom. 

Until There’s Nothing Left
I love your Emptiness, the dark part of you I do not know
The secret part of you that you don’t know, but which radiates from you like the sun
Who you are is hidden there
Shielded from words
At times blazing like a dragon’s fire
From fear of this Source unknown

I’m a knight
Aspiring to eternally find you, tending to your fear through embrace
Adoring your appearance when your brokenness feels loved
When it knows its gift allows Your Emptiness to be seen

A glimpse of You consumes me
Into your well I jump, forever falling
I combust towards Emptiness
Until there’s nothing left

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love THE ART OF WAR AND BASEBALL!! Check it out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com

Picture
0 Comments

LAUNCH ANGLE

9/5/2025

1 Comment

 

A. Bartlett Giamatti (7th MLB commissioner): "Baseball breaks your heart. It's designed to break your heart."

With a new book, Klobberland, coming out in October, I describe the trajectory of my work.

Book 1: A book of meditations on baseball, a game that says something deep about the fundamental nature of reality.
Book 2: The story of one man’s uncensored encounter with that fundamental reality, and the suffering that can result from a lack of awareness of one’s relationship to it.
Book 3: An attempt to describe that fundamental reality directly through a creation myth. What it turned into was a critique of the prevailing myths and stories of our culture, which do everything they can to hide this fundamental reality from the world.
 
Book 1: The Art of War and Baseball – in the words of the commissioner A. Bartlet Giamatti (late 80s) “baseball breaks your heart. It’s designed to break your heart.” – And so is life. This can discourage the best of us. We believe we find no pleasure in the all-too-frequent valleys of the game. We become easily disinterested in the vicissitudes of sport. We can’t buy-in to the struggle, the habitual failure of a .250 batting average. But this brokenness of heart can also have the opposite effect, keeping us in an endless illusion of belief, that tomorrow will finally bring the win that will make one a champion, and end the need to continue the game at all. Both of these responses betray the game. One runs while another wishes its end. And then there are others who were born with the wisdom to know that nothing lasts. And it’s only when we live well with that “nothing” that we find the eternal, we see “nothing,” not as worthless, but like the Rubin’s Vase, coming into focus before our eyes. Although this nothingness is the ungraspable component of the universe, when we have the courage to reduce ourselves towards it, we can see it uniquely cloaked in the state of being a game. Not in endless wins or losses, not in belief or disbelief, but in that joy of suspended disbelief, the state where we know it’s all a game, and we know it’s here to break our heart, but we choose to participate anyway. Through cold or intense heat, and sometimes, in a warm green field, in the sun.

Book 2: Hologram Heroes – Johnny is affected by a physical brokenness. The most prominent actor in the play of Johnny’s life is his amputated hand, a phantom, a present absence that can fulfill or destroy. “Hologram heroes” is his reference to hologram baseball cards – reflecting the power that the stories we tell ourselves have to create the prevailing myths and heroes which outline the enjoyment or despair of our current state.

Book 3: Klobberland, is a mythic journey beyond belief and identity that reveals what emerges when the stories fall away and the brokenness that remains paves the way for the mystery of the self to break through. 
Picture
1 Comment

UNWRITTEN RULES

8/8/2025

0 Comments

 

Tony LaRusa: "I heard he said something like, 'I play my game.' No he doesn't. He plays the game of Major League Baseball."

I’ve talked a great deal on the detrimental effects of the theist concept of belief. How it is typically used as a way of limiting the great wonders of the world to a level of hedonistic understanding in order to free us from the existential angst of the Unknown. How it is used to enslave people in a type of impulsive participation, feeding off the hidden structures of desire. But I also don’t claim to be an atheist, a non-believer, because this opposing position is just as controlled, except this group has reduced the entire thing to the control of a lifeless machine. A true atheist could only enter nihilism and despair, but most atheists don’t. They typically just replace the sacred object of desire with something secular; most commonly, commodity satisfaction. But there is a third position, which is the position I take up when I am asked about belief. If asked, for example, "do you believe in Jesus?" I’d say "I believe in the story of Jesus like I believe in the story of Rocky," through the lens of the third position of belief, and that is suspended disbelief. This doesn’t satisfy the listener and at first seems like a flippant or deflecting response, or a less committed position than belief or non-belief. But I assure you it is not. The third position is a commitment, but it’s a commitment to the Ineffable Mystery, rather than to some finite description. It’s where the power of a story doesn’t depend on its literal facticity, but on the willingness to let it move you. I don’t need to believe Rocky existed when I watch the movie, I also don’t sit there and say “this guy doesn’t exist,” for I would have no chance to enjoy the movie. So what do I do? Knowing that “belief” and “disbelief” sedate my life in some way, I instead suspend my disbelief and I cry with joy. I am able to experience the message, hear the call, and allow the Real to speak. Life is the same. At the point of being asked to “believe” anything you have three choices, (1) belief: literally trick yourself into thinking it’s true (this eliminates faith) (2) disbelief: literally trick yourself into thinking it’s false (this eliminates meaning) or (3) suspended disbelief: let go of the need to grasp it as true or false all together but choose to participate nonetheless (the faith position). Jean-Paul Sartre uses the term “bad faith” for the first two positions, in which we are willing to so quickly engage in self-deception about the world. We forget, in a sense, that we’re all just playing a game of contradiction, it’s just whether you're an unwitting (belief), unwilling (non-belief) or willing (suspended disbelief) participant.
Picture
0 Comments

THE LONDON SERIES

7/6/2025

0 Comments

 

Benjamin Franklin: "Money has never made a man happy, nor will it, there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more of it one has the more on wants."

On a recent trip to London this last month with my family I had the ironic opportunity to, in the same day, attend Hamilton at the Victoria Theatre and view the Crown Jewels at the Tower of London. I quickly realized there couldn’t be two more diametrically opposed touristy excursions in a single day. The idea of the jewels seemed harmless enough yet, heavily guarded in the walls of a stone castle and displayed under bulletproof glass, side-by-side with the dungeons, torture chambers and the remnants of exotic animal cages from the royal menagerie, I smelled the rancid musk of a spoiled opulence wafting through the summer air, overpowering any sense of awe the keepers were attempting to conjure from the exhibit. I guess I hadn’t thought much about it before, but the jewels shined a reflective light on how easily we can find ourselves in an ignorant compliance, especially when born into a land where conformity to an institutionalized celestial totalitarianism dressed in pomp and circumstance was commonplace. Crowns were laden with thousands of encrusted diamonds and pearls, golden swords and staffs were bedazzled in jewels, attempting to blind one’s eyes to the hypocrisy of it all, forcing heads down and knees bent to the light of their radiating glare. I wasn’t impressed more than enlightened by this incredible show of wealth and power. There was no question who authorized all of this. Of course, suppression and dominance to this degree could be granted by no other than God himself. On the walls were a multitude of quotes reinforcing the divine rights of kings, the orbs, set under crosses, reminding the masses how the kingdoms of this world provide us a glimpse into the kingdom of God, all shielding the viewer from focusing any unwanted energy on the shame of disparity that accompanies all material extravagance. Robes of the Lord, laced in gold, provided the proper garments to clothe the anointed ones, labeling them servants of the kingdom, and providers of salvation. How nice it must be to live in a world where your leader holds divine power. Turns out, Hamilton didn’t think so. Neither did any of the founding fathers, who rose up, by their own efforts, in a quest for freedom from this monarchical tyranny and intentional separation of church and state. The opposite path to freedom is conformity to divine rule. Although paradoxically, we find, as we work with our own two hands together towards freedom, the divine emerges. Let us not return to the days where we’re tricked into thinking this exorbitant decadence will provide anything but suffering, famine, and death. Let us not forget that those who claim to wield the heavens are not on our side, they are on the side of the gods, and like gods, they will not hesitate to punish those unwilling to conform. As Hamilton said, let’s instead, “raise a glass to freedom!”

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love my other work on the BENEFITS OF BROKENNESS!! Check it out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments

0-0 Count

6/13/2025

0 Comments

 

Richard Feynman: "We get the exciting result that the total energy of the universe is zero. Why this should be so is one of the great mysteries - and therefore one of the important questions in physics."

The 0-0 count is the only position in baseball in which neither the pitcher nor the batter holds an advantage over the other. This neutrality of zero, or nothing, can help us begin to understand its power, especially as it's applied to the concept of God.

God as Nothing

How elegant that is
Dark, like the joyous mystery without and within
Invisible, like her breath, intermixed with his
Pungent, like the sacred smell of a lover
Void, like the womb from which we begin
Death, the fear upon which we use idols to cover 
Mislabeling them God, in sin
Stillness, a counterbalance that animates life
Precious, like wheels in the no-thing of time
Embracing, like the caring arms of a brother in strife
The only eternal thing that I can call mine

Absent, like everything we long for as we're on our way
Empty, like the space that great stars hold
Endless, like the paths onto which we stray
A negation of everything that we know
Non-existent, as the pain you try to keep deep inside, 
Deeper than deep, lower than low
Silent, as the sound the truth replied
The destination of where we all go

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love THE BENEFIT OR BROKENNESS and THE ART OF WAR AND BASEBALL!! Check it all out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments

BASEBALL GODS

5/2/2025

0 Comments

 

Bull Durham Movie (1988): "I believe in the church of baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones ... but the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the church of baseball."

Be careful of this word “religion,” for, sadly, this term has come to often represent an insidious exploitation of the worst qualities of man. Although this may seem a harsh critique, I am opposed to downplaying the devastating effects this term can have on the potential for widespread destruction if left unchallenged. Why? Because "religion" has come to embody a type of commodity fetishism, selling fantasies and feeding off the hidden (and glaring) ambitions of the wayward while disguising itself as a type of comforting security blanket to protect people from their alienation and brokenness. If religion is a righteous occupation to be involved in then one should ask oneself why a rich and powerful robber baron who outwardly attacks the downtrodden, sexualizes and oppresses women, insults the disabled, steals from the poor, and exhibits little, if any, remorse would be interested in its proliferation. It is easy to be initially tricked into thinking there is some nobility in this cause, maybe regret, or desire to change one’s hateful ways. But this would be to disregard all evidence to the contrary, evidence that is found in the continuation of this man’s selfishness, arrogance, cynicism, narcissism, and self-centeredness. No, what draws this type of person to religion is twofold. One, religion’s ability to control the masses through “sacred” manipulation and authority. And two, its likeness to a type of high-brow capitalism in which one acts, not to sell products for material riches, but in a type of economic exchange of belief and conformance for salvation and eternal treasure. Unfortunately, I think "religion," in the common use of the word, is a lost cause and should likely be abandoned for other terms which better align to its original intent.

This is sad because, at its best, religion is simply a response to an unconditional event which cannot be conceptualized. It is this event, experienced even in the most common everyday unhappiness and brokenness of life, which drives every poet to attempt to articulate it. Yet, every artist feels, as they stand back and look at their completed work, like they’ve left out some essential component, as though this event of life could never be captured as it has been claimed to be in today's religion. This antagonism of wrestling with this event is what fuels an endless stream artistry and beauty in the world. This, I feel, is what the atheist finds most concerning about religion. Not the acknowledgement that there is a dimension of material reality that isn’t reducible to it, but with the assertion that this dimension can be discussed with authority. We make any discussion on religious ideas profane when we forget we are always engaging, with our speech, in a type of hoax. There is a domain of reality that cannot be talked about without our talking becoming hypocritical. This is no reason not to talk, but all the reason to caveat our words, when we attempt to point at it, with humility. Baseball, as religion, is touching on something other than the common use of the word. Not as a set of dogmas which elevates players and coaches for worship. Not as a ritual act of batting and catching. I’m talking about a much more subtle aspect of baseball. A subtly that is nearly lost in religion, as a concept, today. It is baseball as something that only promises one thing: heartache. Baseball is openly honest about this knowledge and doesn’t try to cover it up. It doesn't woo you into joining with the promise of eternal triumph. It exposes the sacred in a never-ending struggle for desire. It exposes God as a type of Absence which can never be filled but ever fuels one’s energy to come back, day after day. It is fulfilling in what it doesn’t give you. It’s a religion of nothing.

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love my other work on the BENEFITS OF BROKENNESS!! Check it out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments

Loss

4/18/2025

0 Comments

 

Tom Brady: "you get motivated by the losses"

Our inherent brokenness generates a feeling like loss. It makes us feel like we had something, like we were whole and complete at one point, and it was lost somehow. We erect the idea of a fall from grace, which our myths reinforce. And we fantasize that the loss can be overcome  through a “sacred object” of wholeness. Then we spend all our energy trying to get that sacred object, whether secular or religious. This puts us in a pendulum swing between suffering (not having the sacred object) and boredom (the feeling after we achieve the sacred object, with a staggering realization that it was not, in fact, the sacred object). Most people simply reset the sacred object to something else, or they place it beyond this life in death, rather than admit that the sacred object is actually the annihilation of the sacred object; it is lack itself. This is the Christian message that has been perverted throughout the years: the sacred object must be crucified to achieve liberation from the idols we put in its place. What is left is Absence. This is the good news on this Good Friday. There is an inherent brokenness, as even Jesus felt as he cried out on the cross. We are not meant to run from it, or hide it, or cover it over with sacred objects. Today, Christianity turns God from a sacred object that we can achieve, to the wound created by our inherent brokenness. Turns God from a mountaintop to reach, to a depth, a void, which can be ever descended. God as the sacred object is dead, but our freedom exists in the worship of its absence.

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love THE ART OF WAR AND BASEBALL!! Check it out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments

Broken Play

3/7/2025

0 Comments

 

Abraham Lincoln (allegedly, though it's debated): "You can't predict baseball."


I recently changed my website name to The Benefits of Brokenness, in an attempt to better capture what I’m trying to do in all my work. Although this blog will continue to take baseball terms and look at the deeper meaning, it’s now under that umbrella. When I talk about the benefits of brokenness most people initially translate brokenness to sadness, and that sounds like a pretty depressing mantra for life. But I’m talking about something fundamentally different than sadness. I’m talking about the structure of the human condition.

First off, we seem to reside in a body, but we are clearly not totally our body, for we could lose a limb of our body and still be ourselves. I — whoever I is — am the one who is losing the limb. We are also not our mind. For even if we started to lose our memory, who exactly is losing their memory? Beyond that, we know that there is an unconscious mind; a part of us that we are completely unaware of, and that works as a kind of saboteur of our conscious experience — or so we think. Most of us also feel some connection to something transcendental, something to which we belong but do not possess, yet we can never quite put our finger on it. We also find we can be present — and be completely unaware of it — even when we are not physically in a place or time, as we have all, one time or another, spoken to the dead as though they are there and hearing us, or thought of a friend who was not physically present when performing some action. When it comes to trying to explain things about ourselves we also find that words come up short. Poetry will never stop, people will never stop trying to articulate who they are, but they will always fail. This is because we are, in a sense, always how words fail to describe us. Our true self is somehow in the gap between all these things, and a gap requires a broken structure. If we think even deeper about who we are, the gap expands. We begin to see our interrelatedness with all things. We start to realize how we depend on the entire world to be the background of our existence. Therefore, we somehow extend far beyond the boundaries of our skin into distant universes. Yet although we depend on the world, there is still a possibility for our freedom from the determinants that the world places upon us. We can come to our own conclusions, which seem independent or even at odds with our most trusted influences. How is this possible? We have our brokenness to thank. There is, more fundamental than any fundamental thing, a split which creates the subject, making us beings that are self-aware, rational, loving, and supernatural. It allows us the possibility to be at odds with the crowd, the possibility to be more than a machine that is simply doing as the greater machine wills, the possibility to be unpredictable. But the most tragic aspect of life is that we, for the most part, forsake this brokenness. Our instinct is to cover it up. It is built into our culture, it invades our myths, and this instinct controls our life without us even seeing it. My work with the Benefits of Brokenness is meant to honor and embrace this brokenness so we can begin to touch upon who we are, if even for a moment. 


If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love my other work! Check it out here: 
www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments

Patchwork Bullpen

2/7/2025

0 Comments

 

Earl Weaver: "You can't worry if it's raining. You just got to play baseball."

The common “thread” of today’s post is quilting (patchwork bullpen, Earl Weaver) and a concept I dreamed up this month on how a quilt (albeit an ugly quilt) could be used as a metaphor for life. 

Imagine a quilt, with each block having a ripped hole in its center. This is like us. We are each a block, sewn together in one quilt through society. Our block’s edges touch the world on all sides, we cannot escape its influence. Feeling stuck and ripped open, we look to grow outwards and sew shut the gaping wound. As we expand beyond our block it requires us to take from other blocks, making ourselves bigger by making others smaller. In many cases causing a chain reaction outwards; a battle for dominance and territory on the quilt. Even if we, instead, redesigned our block with patchwork that we believe is uniquely our style, we’d find, if we could step back and look upon the quilt, our patches would be simply a mirror of other blocks that are close by. In this greater view, their influence upon us would be revealed as a type of unconscious control. More than anything we are embarrassed of our ripped fabric, we see it as a deformity that must be sewn together with patchwork for us to be whole and perfect. But it is, in fact, the only feature of our block that makes us uniquely us. It is the only feature that can bring us true freedom in this interwoven universe. Because, although it seems like a wound, it’s the only path to visit that which is beyond the quilt. It is terrifying, because the quilt seems warm and cozy, each stitch follows certain patterns that are understood and comforting. Yet a quilt without holes is a sterile artifact; a dull, lifeless expression of blocks reciprocally controlled by the influence of surrounding blocks. This quilt, when placed over the light, blocks it completely. It can’t see beyond itself. Not one member exists in this perfect quilt, for they are blended together in an endless, flat form. Therefore, no block has a chance at experiencing anything real, uninfluenced by the determinants of others. But a ripped quilt is a quilt filled with love. This void in each block is what I mean when I use the word, God; insisting, at every moment, that by becoming less, we are more than just a block controlled by a crowd, revealing the true nature of love and freedom. When you love truly, you find your beloved through the bridge created by a common wound, not by consuming them through patchwork. If we are willing to embrace that which we initially experience as brokenness, the endless destructive cycle of the promise-of-more can be decelerated, and we may get a glimpse of our true nature, revealing a path to the true nature of others. If we are willing to stop expanding and rip open the patchwork to make ourselves less, we have a chance at experiencing the unconditional; our maximum fullness.

If you enjoyed this new meditation on the deeper meaning of the game, you’ll love THE BENEFITS OF BROKENNESS!! Check it out here: www.theartofwarandbaseball.com
Picture
0 Comments
<<Previous

    Author

    I will be posting more baseball meditations here over time.

    Archives

    September 2025
    August 2025
    July 2025
    June 2025
    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Hologram Heroes
  • Art of War and Baseball
  • Klobberland
  • WAR & BASEBALL: A BLOG